I accidentally threw away from slim jim and some lady saw me dig it out of the garbage. It was unopened but still, I look so homeless.
Michael Bay diarrhea
Ever since I got married, I've become the MacGuyver of masturbation
Why is the garage door in the middle of the street?
Quick question... Can I call you daddy? Or would that just really made the whole 8 year age gap a bigger deal...?
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
This is simple. Just sex and high fives. No feelings.
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
I would come over if there was not the impending fear of me shitting out my brains.
Check 'smoke weed with our ihop waiter' off of our To-Do List
the bartender knew what was up when i took a sip of my drink, gagged and asked her to water down my water
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
I did a trust fall off the bar and then almost got into a knife fight over a push up competition. Just another Tuesday.
kick those bitches in the teeth and tell them mama came to party
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