god i wish i could take a shit and a shower at the same time
Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
I bruise way too easily for the kind of rough sex I want...
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
Fucked Zombie Jesus at a Halloween party. I need Plan B before I give birth to the Antichrist.
and that my friend is why you dont go in for an eye exam and drop 250 dollars on a pair of glasses after smoking a blunt
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
I would love a rich wife. Then I would be like a gym teacher or some shit. Bigfoot hunter maybe.
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
I recently had a rabies scare because I thought putting socks on my hands to pick up a squirrel that got in my house was a good idea.
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
STOP HOOKING UP WITH SOCCER MOMS! YOU ARE RUINING MY REPUTATION!
He can sense you did cocaine and had park sex with a large ginger from Australia last night.
She walked up to me and whispered "I hope you're good at sex" and led me to the beach.
Randomize
