Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
literally hosing herself off in my back yard with the hose. i offered her the shower but she refused. that drunk.
After the baby comes, I'll make us White Russians with my breast milk. That will teach her about sharing.
I HAVE A BLACK EYE FROM A DILDO!! IM GETTING MARRIED TOMORROW! THIS IS NOT A MISSUNDERSTANDING!
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
You are the voice of reason. And I'm bringing wine. Like seriously this is his last chance. Don't touch me once, shame on you.. Don't touch me twice, shame on me
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
I mean, "boo" isn't the appropriate response to someone dying...
This is what we get for finishing a whole box of Franzia by ourselves
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
TFW YOU ACCIDENTALLY SEND A MEME ABOUT LIKING ANAL TO THE GROUP CHAT. JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?
Dad is wasting no time getting back out there. Just walked in on him and a Twin Peaks waitress in the hot tub
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