Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
My favorite part was when he stopped, looked up in the middle of performing oral sex and asked, "you did know it was Arbor Day, right?"
Um, yeah. You lit my birthday candles with a joint. Mom= not happy.
Blood drive hookups: you will probably faint during the sex, but at least you know neither of you has AIDS
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
I'm skipping the 'hey, how are you, I have to pick up something pointless at your apartment' excuse and just telling you I'm coming over to fuck.
While we were making out, he kept yelling at me for not coming to his wedding last month.
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
So I ripped my crotchless fishnet body suit when my drunk ass tried to crawl through the crotch to put it on.
Eredayimstrugglin ..Can we talk about the fact that I just typed "er" and it autocorrected to that. Fuck my life.
It's astonishing how many Ludacris lyrics you know
like don't tell me my baby smooth vag offended you
You're talking to someone who was 80% serious about breaking into someone's house and leaving a cat there with our names in a heart tag on its collar
Randomize
