So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
I just saw the nastiest chick.
Where?
woke up next to her... fuck you jack daniels, fuck you
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
Buying her a drink is like giving a seagull a French fry, all you're gonna do is get annoyed and shit on
Would giving a bouquet of flowers to my mother be a good way to say, "sorry you walked in on my boyfriend eating me out"?
He sent me a pic stitch collage of all the tit pics I had sexted him this month. It was so sweet!
I was apparently the best non-Irish person at the party. I wore my skating dress, Austrian flag and a giant shamrock. Everyone is calling me "30 Shots Girl".
HE ASKED IF I HAD SIBLINGS WHEN I ASKED HIM TO LICK MY ASSHOLE
I'm watching Part of Your World now and I'm crying and I feel like I'm floating right along with her. This. This right here is some drunken Disney Magic
i feel as though me waking up and asking her if i went to the hospital was a sign that i was not okay
I think I'm so comfortable in my sexual relationship because he mostly wants to see me naked with large plates of bacon tastefully placed upon my body
I just tried to snap you a picture of the CVS where we decided not to become parents.
You are telling me my dick tastes like a taco supreme?
I'm saying this "taco supreme" tastes like your dick.
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