Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich?
Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
Sorry about teling your dad i'd have sex with him last night in front of your mom while i was drunk
I wish life was like dora the explorer where dancing pigs appear out of nowhere to solve your problems for you
At least I know she didn't hear me crawl to my room. Or did I walk on my hands? Fuck if I know.
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
How bad is it if you swallow a really small piece of glass? Be optimistic if possible I'm anxious about it.
He told me he wanted to sober fuck the shit outa me... I took that as a compliment
So hungover. Walked into room and poached their catering before realized in wrong place. Scowled and ate it anyway
My whole house smells like Spaghetti-Os and cat litter. I think I've failed as an adult.
I made it 1 week... 5 business days at my new job before sleeping with my coworker.
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
how do i say "cradle the balls" in Italian
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
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