No, I think it was the night I threw up in her front yard. You're thinking of the time I threw up in her backyard.
She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.
We bought a hamster while completely stoned and 2 hours later returned it because your mother wouldnt let you bring it in her house. You cried. a lot.
I am pretty damn sure that neither my body or his body is ready for how drunk I am getting tonight
Hey so when you left last night was i wearing shoes?
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
Sunday is the day of rest.
As in, whatever liquor is left after last night, you have to drink the rest.
I just made cupcakes.... Vodka icing. Results in the morning.
YOU ARE SO GOD DAMN LOUD AND YOU'RE SHAKING THE GOD DAMN HOUSE. FUCKING STOP.
Only I could get hit on by homophobic straight guys in a drag bar.
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
I honestly don't understand how your night went from singing a touching rendition of Africa to an angry political rant to low key trying to find a frat boy to bang to doing dishes to yoga
Do you think if I had a tempurpedic bed he would still be able to feel me fingering myself after we have sex?
I told my parents how nice the girl at the frogurt store was. I neglected to mention that I nearly lost my virginity to her via foursome.
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
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