in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
It was like a secret agent hookup. No names, swift execution, get in- get out.
So when you said you wanted to make a clay replica of my boobs and hang it above your bed you actually meant it?
Do you remember puking up your retainer into the toilet and putting it right back in your mouth?
Three things I need a picture of: your friend, your bong, and your dick.
It's Friday afternoon and I'm drunk. This is how I cope.
Some might say its sad that I am willingly picking up a coke habit to be the skinniest bridesmaid... I think it shows my great dedication and proves I should have been maid of honor.
let's see, i ended up walking for an hour towards a macdonalds that didnt exist, sprinted full tilt into a powerline, and left a 30 dollar tip to a waitress at dennys we made friends with. I REGRET NOTHING
I should just black out in my front yard again- that was a great nights sleep.
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
This is not 2004 anymore. It's not acceptable to get fingered while watching 'Ferngully' in a basement full of your friends.
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
I'm not asking for life coaching, I'm just asking if you know where I left my underpants.
That means I have to put pants on. That is not something I am willing to do right now.
Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
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