i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
The night started going downhill when I set my foot on fire.
Dude she flew me 1000 miles down to see her, broke up with me 7 hrs after arrival, and kicked me out with a week left til I fly home. Thank god college taught me how to shack up
did i send you the picture of me smiling with the magnum wrapper?
Can you work for me at 4? We might have just taken some drugs we found in the couch and... end of story
im trying to look as sober as possible but i just poured orange juice and mayo into my milkshake.
Abort mission; I repeat: Abort mission.I found an attractive one.
I'm gonna face reality, tomorrow morning is not on my hungover agenda.
After I was kicked out of the last frat I blacked out, woke up in the hospital with no clothes no phone and no idea what happened last night. But i got hospital socks, thats a win in my book.
i may or may not be making depth charges with cough syrup. i'll call you if i survive.
I just fist bumped God in my head for last night. What a bro.
I thought 5 times was beyond my capabilities but her tongue was like a penis defibrillator. Clear!
Your aunt just offered to blow me for a ride home....how did you end up such a prude?
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
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