I wish there was a morning after pill that made you instantly sober
I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
All i'm saying is it doesn't matter how drunk you were, at 26 years of age you should always remember to take down you pants before you shit in the toilet
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
YOU BETTER TOUCH MY NIPPLES TODAY
In the words of my step grandma "whatever makes your pussy happy"
Do you know how close I got to throwing him over the edge of the canyon?
I need to learn how to not be a fucking liability
i'm pretty sure my brother is still drunk from last night. he's telling my parents that humans are at the top of the food chain for a reason and listing off all the exotic animals he would eat
I don't know whether to cheer for the free bourbon, or cry from the screaming children.
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
How do I sound like a lady while communicating the fact that I want his dick in my mouth?
Randomize
