i just realized that no matter how many potstickers i eat, i will never be asian
so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
Weirdest conversation with my dad. He just told me he didn't shave his pubes.
Can you put "designated driver" on a resume?
He told us that was the only place he could get service when we found him in the closet passed out with a beer
I'm so hungover all I can do is stare at my curser and hope it starts moving on its own
Well on the plus side I have started adding benefiber to my bottle of wine
I vote for a trading skills night. You teach me to juggle, I'll teach you knife fighting, and we'll both learn banjo
eating jello out of the cup. with my face. while on the toilet. i am at my lowest.
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
She said she forgot something.. and when she came out she was carrying a garden gnome, and a bottle of vodka. she was too hot to question it.
She looks like a Midwestern news anchor that got fired so she has done nothing but eat for the past 6 months.
Well, if worst comes to worst, I have pictures of his penis that I can put on the internet
Had to drive my booty call home because he had an asthma attack after we had sex .. How was your night?
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
Randomize
