Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
I told my mom I had sex with him and even SHE was proud. Now that's saying something.
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
My ex best friend's ex fuck buddy is visiting. There was no other option but day drinking.
I just realised I've never been sober in my apartment
He dodged my hug and greeted me with a fist bump. I slept with him the night before. The only thing worse would have been a greeting by chest bump.
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
you realize you insisted on them having a dance off to korean music to determine who takes you home?
all of these bad things happened because I didn't bring a shower beer.
EVERYBODY CALM YOUR SHIT
handcuff keys just fell out of my bra....wtf happened last night?
I don't know whether to cheer for the free bourbon, or cry from the screaming children.
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
After he finished, he fell on the floor and whispered "finally satisfied"
Randomize
