i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
It was like fucking a house. Down the chimney. That deep and empty.
he sounded really stupid. it was like his puke had a stutter, too.
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
i think i have weasels eating my brain. Also there is a skeleton staring at me from the back of the bathroom door. it's an awkward vomit. come find me please
She asked me to head butt her and after half a bottle of whiskey that seemed reasonable.
Although I feel like awkward kinda describes your entire sexual history...
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
You threw up in your own shoe then wore it home
Do you know why I woke up with a half peeled lemon in my purse with a post-it that said "eat me" on it?
FUCK IM ABOUT TO GET A DICK PIC IN THE LIBRARY
We were right in the middle of sex and all of a sudden his kids toy story action figure starts talking "I think the word your searching for is Space Ranger." A literal Buzz kill. It was equally creepy and hilarious.
I'm going to make you a sign to put on your penis to ward others off
YOU ARE STRONGER THAN YOUR VAGINA
Randomize
