My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
i DID NOT walk around with my knees bent and my hands behind my back with long spandex and underarmour pretending to be Apollo Ono
Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
Hey man, sorry I chased you around the house with a small table.
it was either a really good one night stand or a really really good first date. thank you online dating
It's only 8pm and Karl already got a stripper fired.
He had a 99.9% chance of getting laid...until he started cutting down the frat's volleyball nets with his pocket knife.
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
Just took a shot of tequila with a random guy at the supermarket. Happy cinco de fourth.
The guy who was The Count on Sesame Street died this week too. Therefore, you should take multiple shots, count them, & go "ahh aaahh aaaahhh" after each one. I expect video...
The thing about pooping in the woods during hunting season is you never know if someone's watching you.
Randomize
