people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
Dignity is for republicans.
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt.
Come over. Drunk tacos.
That isn't even a sentence.
I kept the important parts.
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
If you happen to tell anybody my drunk story in the near future, please refrain from telling them about me shitting myself. People are getting the wrong idea and random people are messaging me on Facebook making fun of me for that
Hey I'm sorry for head butting you last night. Personally I thought it was funny at the time, but I can see how from your perspective it may not have been as enjoyable for you... Hope your lip is okay.
How is your new roommate working out
We are drinking at the laundromat. And will probably have sex later. So...pretty good.
Update: my mom just told someone to shut up and suck her dick
I'm really excited to meet your new dude! But we really need to find out if he's your cousin first.
Sent. All. My. Texts. Like. This. Last. Night. Thank. You. Weed. Also. Had. A. Dream. About. A. Serial. Killer. That. Killed. Everyone. Except. Me. And.
Randomize
