New drink name: the Vermont Douchebag. Take shot of maple syrup, drop into cup of jager, bomb.
We fucked standing up with my right leg over his shoulder. Thank you mom and dad for having once enrolled me in gymnastics. It has finally paid off
Here's an idea...how about I take shots by myself and drunk dial you around noon?
I now realize that they made gum to take the taste of dick out of your mouth.
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
Me and your penis are best friends. You don't know it, but I whisper my secrets whenever I give you blowjobs. We even have a secret handshake. We can't be separated from each other. We just can't.
We boned on a bench in a park, french people were walking by cheering us on. Totally acceptable
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
The stripper told Tom to sort his life out
I woke up with my shoes still on and my pants around my ankles cause I couldn't get them over my shoes
I didn't know how to commemorate his death, so I snorted a fat line off of his obituary. Rest in peace.
I fucked that choir dude last night. he had the most strangely musical moans. it was like a Sound Of Music porno.
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
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