my number is 615-555-1212, <3 your favorite asshole
i literally in my bathroom watching tv from across the hall while trying not to fall asleep with my dog keeping my feet warm. wednesday's shouldnt be like this
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
God you people are gross. Come collect your unconscious friend.
You went through my pantry and left one of everything in the box. One cracker. One cheesit. One piece of cereal. I really fucking hate you.
Great news! In less than 2 hours, I'm ripping your underwear off with my teeth!
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
But you put your finger in my ass and the rest is history
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
I wish there were more things in this world as wonderful as string cheese
Surriously
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
Because of you I can never eat chicken nuggets without thinking of you fucking him. I hope youre happy. I really do.
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
Randomize
