butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
im going to have to ask you to stop vomiting stars, rainbows, and butterflies all over your facebook statuses...
Come find me, I'm the girl sitting alone in taco bell at 9 in the morning drinking concealed beer with a straw
You know it is an interesting night when the 911 operator calls you
Oh you know, sitting here in my bathing suit watching antiques road show and petting the cat. Just the usual
Apparently being drunk on a southwest flight and yelling "TURNUP" during take off is looked down upon in this state.
My dream of watching a live dick sword fight might never be realized now. Currently sobbing, shots to follow
He was so high he started playing Twister on the striped rug. Then when we missed midnight he went on a screaming rampage about his New Year's Eve being meaningless. How do you think it went?
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
Just wore the promise ring dad gave me freshman year of high school as a fake wedding band while I bought a pregnancy test. I think it's safe to say that's not what he had in mind with that gift 14 years ago.
I just saw a raccoon get launched out of a tree by another raccoon. They have turf wars...
Does it count as a threesome if your friend drunkenly has sex on top of you while you're passed out?
If i'm not ready, make sure i'm alive. Not passed out dead in the shower.
I'll still do breakfast to celebrate the life you've had.
Randomize
