How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
Talking her gay man friend into dancing with me officially makes me the world's best wingman. ever.
Listening to my boss get blown in the next room by a male bartender from the gay bar. And watching pawnstars. Tell me I'm not the best wingman ever.
I made him leave at 3am, he texted me a couple minutes later and said the elevator was broken and he was sleeping in there, but he said I was worth it so I don't feel guilty
This is the high leading the old right now
I hope my orgasm sounds aren't secretly that bad and no one tells me
How does this dude know what a dying walrus sounds like? That's the real question
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
I just learned my tits were fire resistant. I should join the freakin circus
My new year's resolution was to squirt this year. I only have four months left. Help.
this new dose of ADD meds is totally being waisted with the unemployed new graduate thing if only I could add my hyper focused side effects to a coverletter
My boobs smell like weed again. This happens way too often.
wheres my face? and why is my pocket so big?
Had a dream last night where I asked you how your Christmas was and your response was, “sex, man. Just lots and lots of sex.”
Good god. A spell so dry your friends actually commit it to their subconscious!
Randomize
