C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
I'm not high anymore, I decide when it's done.
I need a $60 an hour job, because I have a $50 an hour drinking habit.
Do you remember calling me a cuntasaurus rex last night?
I just made the answer to all my security questions "fuck you" with various levels of ! marks. I may regret this in the morning.
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
Someone's vagina was extra sandy cause the left side of my bed feels like the beach.
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
I did not have sex with him because he had a puppy…finding out he had a husky pup waiting back at home was just an unexpected plus
I woke up to his balls in my face, so naturally I limboed under him and headed to the bathroom. When I came out he was asleep on the floor.
My walk of shame is starting to become positively reinforcing; I stop by Starbucks and when I leave I look someone just heading to work.
all I remember the next morning was crawling through the doggy door and finding my underwear in my purse
One day he'll find out I do drugs and stop talking to me.
What will you do then?
Drugs, probably.
Randomize
