We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
Good thing it was his birthday because I accidentally grabbed his dick at the bar. A lot.
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
I'm about to play Thunderstruck by myself, that way I'll always get the long thunder part.
accidentally stumbled into a construction site at 3am on the way home. The bulldozer was locked so we had to settle for rerouting traffic with all the orange cones...
I think i should wear mittens next time we have sex.
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
At the ER. John needs stiches. Fuck pub trivia nights.
Is this really the life I've chosen for myself?
I have a guy for practically everything... except for making me waffles on demand. will u be my waffle guy?
but if we have a President Trump come Tuesday, I might throw myself off the Walt Whitman Bridge so Thursday might not work for me after all.
SHE POOPED THE CONDOM WHOLE
How ironic... opening your legs for closure.
Randomize
