so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
I now have an ENTIRE drawer of unused disposable silverware from Boston Market... and you guys said I needed to "buy" kitchen stuff
Walking back from greek row alone at 3:30am in a child's kangaroo suit...not my proudest moment
and then you looked me right in the eyes and said "i just really wanna pet some horses right now"
She just tricked me into telling her the balance of my 401k... She's like a gold digging jedi mind trick ninja
Ugh contemplating vodka and chocolate protein powder as this Capri sun and vodka isn't really cutting it
You tried to order fondue take-out.
From Taco Bell.
Now in listening to Jerome Bettis speak at the hall of fame and my boner just started twirling a terrible towel
Dude, tumbleweeds have been rolling through my bed lately. This is my dryest dry spell since I was married.
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
We fucked while The Odyssey played in the background. Homer would be proud.
he high fived his dick after we had sex
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
He dicked me, fed me creme brulee, and didn’t make a big deal out of me causing a flood to come outta my vagina
Marry him NOW
It's officially "let him eat me out in a sundress with no panties" season. Needless to say the first date was a success.
Randomize
