he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen.
there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
I've started making all these amazing things...like bananas rolled in doritos..bandritos.
The girl that works the front desk at my gym invited me and my friend to come see her Tuesday during her shift at hooters because its her birthday. I still have a boner
Okay. We're coming naked. We need Saran wrap and plastic forks.
I ran into the bouncer who kicked me out of that beach bar a few months ago. I told him I'd only been thrown out of two other places since then. He was proud.
Moral of the story: don't have drunken shower sex with the lights off...or you WILL break your foot. And the shower knobs.
You're the horniest male I have ever encountered
Makes it sound like you're a scientist documenting your discoveries. I warned you.
Everyone called me "Barf Vader".. And I lost your lightsaber.
The whole time we were hanging out my vagina was yelling at me like its a real live penis that wants to have sex with us what are you doing
I like how she'll post a picture on Instagram with her boyfriend and 2 hours later you'll send me a snap of her panties on your rear view mirror
"fuck it, let's do moonshine" shouldn't be in ANYONE'S vocabulary.
Thank god you don't know my other address I'm safe for now
Awww you know you would like it if I found u
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