some girl just asked me how to spell unconscious. I really want to know what she was texting.
He passed out drunk on top of me. Fully erect. Still inside me. Woke up like 1 minute later, and continued.
she kicked me out for pissing in the recycling bin. I mean, is it really THAT big of a deal?
the bride spent most of the night apologizing to people she had punched earlier.
My dry heaving is complicating my ability to speak.
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
Tell me right now I did the right thing by not fucking my sick gf at 3 am with her family home... Tell me my balls hurt for noble reasons.
I have no idea how I got home or why I am naked but I assume I owe you a thank you...
I gave up on alcohol forever for like 2 hours, that's got to be a new record
Your mom won me $100 and you showed me your tits. Solid evening.
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
It's 4/20 of course I'm going to smoke in the portapotty and be ripped outta my mind at the lung cancer walk.
No we didn't talk. I was high and doing naked yoga in the living room when she walked in so it was just awkward. I didn't even know my dad had a girlfriend.
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
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