even your uterus rejects him.
apparently my uterus is the smartest part of my body.
Made a salesman quit his job, a saleswoman cry, and got a manager to half shout "fuck this"....successful drunk Christmas shopping
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
I'm such a fucking super-fan. I was worried his cum would wash away his autograph.
Minus the pink eye. Do I look fuckable tonight?
Yah, I guess one silver lining is I'd never seen a full water cooler get thrown down a flight of stairs, gotta appreciate the little things
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
whose parrot is this?
At the very least, I mastered a nap while occasionally being dry humped.
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
I may have just got motorboated by a male stripper who told me I should be a porn star and not a vet student.
Nate is still in lock up because when the cop informed me he'd shit his pants in the squad car I declined to post bail.
The last time I was on vacation the pandemic blew up. Can't wait to see how my vacation fucks up the world this time.
Randomize
