i love that we sang a whole new world together while you carried me through campus
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
While we were having sex he told me "this is what you get for not parking my car right" I have never drove his car. He was that kind of weird.
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
My horoscope told me I'm getting laid tonight. Please don't make the stars be liars
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
Get your ass over here, we're drinking Patron and watching My Little Pony. Patron and Ponies, do you copy?!
I took shrooms last night.. For a good half hour I genuinely believed I was black and being held captive by a leaf. Never again.
You put on some guys Birkenstocks that were abandoned on the dance floor overtop of your flats. Then ran out of the bar high gives the bouncer and said "look at my new kicks" then he was like woah wait a minute someone is missing those and made you return them. You were very upset
I just got offered money for pictures of my boobs
I accepted the offer
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
You peed in my kitchen, while crying and insisting my floor was a toilet.
One of my pillows is missing but it's cool because there is a beef stick.
Do you remember punching the light out in the bathroom? I didn't, and that was at bar 2 of 4…
I just hit 3 trees and a golf cart.. all on the same hole
Put me down for a bogey
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