if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.
i love that when i tell my kids and grandkids about how we first met it will be about this little thing called a "poke" on facebook
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
Well, I now know how many glasses of wine it takes for me to fuck my neighbor.
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
Just used the leftover candycorn for candycorn vodka. Our house is trying to continue the Halloween spirit for as long as possible.
I am going to borrow your water/shock proof video camera for St. Pattys day so that if wake up next to the highway again I know why.
Ok but I hold the right to any footage of you getting slapped, puking, anything with body shots, and allowed to make a montage of it to put on youtube.
Let's get drunk and go to Walmart and just tackle people at random.
I'll text you later. I think she thinks we're taking this whole "no sex" thing seriously.
i don't know why he's complaining, i'm the one with four hickeys on my ass.
I woke up with a meat pie in my hand and my mouth tasting like an ashtray. I'm a catch, really!
Do you have pictures of my pancakes
I need to show the world
They are the pancake equivalent of eventual wife
So I FINALLY get to start out a story, "So there I was, naked except for a toboggan hat and handcuffs..."
My Dachshund waddled into the room carrying a rolled-up pad in her mouth with period blood. This day is clearly off to a good start.
Randomize
