Hey I found a place that'll do a hand job for 42 bucks
Another one? Damn, how many David's is that?
six.
Oh, I thought it was higher.
No, that would be the Matt's
as they left, you opened the door, dropped your pants then yelled "don't leave, this is what you're missing"
New plan for Halloween: you dress as Waldo, I'll dress as Carmen San Diego. We can just hide in a closet drinking till someone finds us.
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
Nothing quite like coming out of an alcohol induced blackout walking down Spruill Avenue carrying a silver briefcase full of IT tools you don't know where they came from. This is my life.
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
But yesterday I literally met half his family buzzed wearing a cheeta print bathing suit super short shorts and a tiny tank top.. I was like awesome
Christopher Columbus didn't sail the ocean blue so I would have to go to class and not have sex with my boyfriend
Lesbians had sex in my bed last night. It's a thing of pride
U know this is gone far when im in the bathroom trying to take a pic of my asshole
Dude. I keep thinking about how I let a man gum my vagina.
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
Seriously, you just banged the guy that wishes his dog happy birthday on fb. That's fucking adorable!
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
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