I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
tip of the day : never have sex with a full bladder. it WILL lead to complications and a very unhappy partner.
We've reached that awkward stage of the relationship where he's in love with me when he's drunk, but sober him is still afraid of commitment.
i'm reaslly not drunk enough to wtch the fat lesbian on my floor brng another fat lesbian dressed up as a bloody nurse into her room at 2am
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
just had an awkward elevator run in with that guy you puked on
everyone at work keeps looking at me like they know I got the herp this weekend
I'm sitting at home, day drinking, while watching crossroads with brittany spears. I'm not the person you should be asking for advice right now.
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
i tried to knight her with my dick. she said it was unromantic. what an ungrateful attitude for a knight.
And then you'll find yourself a hot chick and leave me behind with nothing but my back fat to keep me company.
All together there was 318 cigarette butts in the pool... And my microwave.
She throws back shots like they are NO-THING. I swear, she goes through like five straight tequila shots, does a jello shot, chases with half a hot dog, has a rum and coke, and then takes her shirt off and makes an impromptu bandage out of it for fuckin' Tim who cut himself on the flagpole. I'm going to marry her.
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
we bonded over knowing every word to freaky gurl by gucci mane so it’s kinda starting to make sense why I gave him head in his cul de sac
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