Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
Playing drinking games to Nancy Grace totally counts as "keeping up with current events.."
He was telling me how the song fireflies makes him feel like he can talk to animals
Replacing day drinking with a real job was the worst decision I've ever made.
This whole night would have been avoided if the liquor store had air heads
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
The nurse gave me a funny look when I said I thought I have an std in my throat. Bet she only does it missionary too
One reason I feel like garbage: Kraft single wine shots
Whatever, consider condoms an eighteen year investment.
I could probably save all of the money I would have spent on condoms and put a kid through college.
Volunteering at a homeless shelter a bum asked if he could lick me cause I still reeked of whiskey. Being a bumsickle=epic hangover
Things are coming back to me in chunks. I vaguely remember signing a shirt that said 'I enjoy vagina'
I AM SO PROUD OF YOU
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
I hope a pyrotechnic goes off in your asshole and seals it shut for life.
Me too.
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
Randomize
