So its not gay if you have sex with another woman and its academic
so what if I'm having sex with a woman for recreation?
Thats gay
look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
I just used a tire swing as a toilet. I think I'm gonna pass out here so I can see the look on the first kid who uses it in the morning.
You never realize how many sex toys you have until you have to strategically hide them while moving out of your dorm.
just woke up face down in my kitchen covered in cheetos. my mom just stepped over me to get to the coffee maker. hello summer
Dude if our hands were ladels we could work at a soup kitchen
That would be so convenient
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
I will always remember today as the day I narrowly escaped having to touch a tiny penis
Me either. I want to get 'chase a stray cat through the neighborhood in my hooker heels' drunk. And it's your birthday, so you have to get 'best friend holding your hair while you puke in the bar bathroom and cry about your life' drunk. In a feather boa.
I want to name my colorful bowl Batman. Why? I still have yet to figure it out. But I'm calling it Batman.
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
When confronted with a choice of going home or fucking the band ALWAYS FUCK THE BAND!!
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
it went well until I said "me" instead of "my" and he kept sexting me in character as a pirate
Self care is breaking into nasa and launching yourself directly into the fucking void
Randomize
