so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
just got cropdusted by the delivery guy...this was not in my job description.
I just walked in on my roommate beating off with no pants on, an unbuttoned hawaiian shirt and a cowboy hat, and he weights 300 pounds
You bet me 100 dollars that the Raiders would win the super bowl this year. I have it on tape.
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
She gave me head while using a laptop on my stomach to go online. I've never seen a better feat of multitasking.
He was running late for work this morning, so I helped him out by finding a matching pair of black socks. And I hated it. So I'm currently drinking and reminding myself of the reasons I will never get married.
I tried to roll down the stairs in a ball. I have bruises, the pain is too much.
What the fuck, why would you ever do that?
Haven't you ever just wanted to be a ball?
She went outside in nothing but her panties and came back inside 15 minutes later wearing a different pair of panties.
In the future, could you not call me 'bro' while we're having sex?
I hate ovaries. They're horrible little sacs of satanic enmity.
That's the most poetic description of female anatomy I've ever heard.
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
Did I fall last night?
I wouldn't call it falling as much as you tried to lay on the sidewalk and proceeded to hit it face first.
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
Randomize
