Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
You spent most of the night crying and throwing leftover meatballs at the neighbors dogs
I managed to fit my wallet, my keys, my phone, Tammy's necklace, and $38.50 all in my bra. and $1.50 is in quarters. go me.
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
He was drinking hot tub water because i refused to get him a glass of water...
Please never let me the drunk fat dancer in the bus girl
I guess? According to Jeff his mom is wondering when the grand babies will arrive. So I don't think they like ME so much as my supposed functioning uterus
I was high last night eating a fudge bar and making eggs with toast and corned beef hash for a 2 am snack and my dad asked what I was and the only reply I could think of was "I'm an adult."
Hungover, threw up in a cosmetic case in my car this morning. This is real life.
Your resume just got faxed, I also modified it a bit and sent it to strip clubs...expect weird phone calls...
He doesn't want a full on relationship, he provides me with all the weed I can handle and gives me multiple mind blowing orgasms. He's my soul mate.
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
I'm not talking about Donald Trump in the midst of sending you nudes
I'd invite you over to drink but then I wouldn't be drinking by myself.
Randomize
