just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
he told my vagina that he was looking forward to meet it
So my prents justed posted "DO NOT DISTURB" on facebook and i just heard their door shut and lock...I'm leaving
you woke me up in the middle of the night to tell me you were taking off your pants and it was not an invitation.
just went back to the bar and asked if they found a shoe last night.
Sex with him was like teaching a two year old how to work a machine gun
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
I just wanted to let you know that this afternoon I took a piss at the same toliet you drank out of on New Years Eve.
Is it possible to have pulled a muscle in my neck from passing out with my head in a bucket?
I want to buy her liposuction. And a spot on What Not To Wear. And a face transplant.
I told him I tried to eat a stranger's sandwich while I was drunk. Mildly disappointed but he realizes he has me for a kid.
I love how my phone automatically capitalizes Margarita. R-e-s-p-e-c-t.
He makes balloon animals that get you high? Hell yeah invite him over!
I REMEMBER NUGGETS BEING THERE BUT WE WERE AT A TACO BELL
I am naked, and drinking straight gin with a flat tonic chaser. I had such greater hopes for myself as a child.
yea...tonic water is fucking gross.
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