It's like a parade of train wrecks.
All I want to do right now is burp, puke, and fart. In that order.
just gave a yankee's fan wrong directions to Fenway....welcome to boston asshole
Well look at it this way, if he should happen to get into a terrible accident within the next 2 days, its okay.. i have his dental records on my ass cheek.
No it's cool, He's been doing my English papers in exchange for lap dances since the eleventh grade. We're very professional.
'Twas I. Do you have any idea what it's like waking up to see you sent a text inviting someone to partake in "sexy rumpus?"
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
He just walked up to me in the kitchen, pulled out his penis and stuck it in my sweatpants pocket.
It was probably cold. Sweatpants pockets are notoriously warm.
I totally left my shirt at your house. Also I think I high fived your cactus last night�
I'm shaved like a Brazilian hooker right now.
I have the flu.
I don't give a shit
Well I'm missing half a toenail if that's any indication of my night
...blackout vacation is awesome. Where did you end up? I think i'm in Miami.
Hospital.
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
There is a sex dungeon behind the wine cellar. This is why I hate showing foreclosures.
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