i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
why are there beer bottles in my dishwasher?
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
I was thinking of baby names while I was giving him a blow job
I have to stop letting him stay all weekend. I feel like a cored apple.
How would your parents feel if we installed a sex swing?
dude I just found tht weird ass guy u invited last night passed out in my closet.... apparently he "couldn't find the exit"
Up until today, I never would have thought I'd have to tell someone not to color on the cat
Like I'm literally drinking whiskey and making a stocking for my cat right now. What. Goes. On.
He just pulled a Spanish chick using google translate!!!! We are at the bar and she speaks zero English. Hes a fucking magician!!!!!!
Last night I somehow got INCREDIBLY wasted & thought it was a good idea to make a group chat with all the guys I'm hooking up with and just say "bye." soo I'm hiding out till next week.
I did cocaine with my cab driver all night. It was the best date.
I've seriously never been more thankful for marijuana and my resting bitchface.
Why is there a mildly painful bruise on my back?
You slipped off the sink last night.
Why was I on the sink......?
;)
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