He cooked the food on a paper plate in the oven.
I feel like abortions should bother me more
Everytime I know she spent a lot of time on her hair for one of our dates, I intentionally cum on the top of her head. That's how she knows I pay attention.
We JUST got rid of the new years fatties at my gym and now the spring break fatties are here. goddamn.
If you wake up tomorrow and start to wonder.... Yes you did just eat mild sauce from taco bell out of the package while informatively yelling about the loss of my virginity
Just watched a guy ride a bike off his roof into his pool. On my way to the liquor store, picking you up in 20
Remind me never to smoke before babysitting again. Ate an entire bottle of children's gummy vitamins.... not an easy thing to explain to parents.
i still can't believe he got laid by going to the bar and handing out "cuddle buddy" application forms
Pretty sure I just noped a member of the Canadian women's hockey team on Tinder.
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
not sure if actually covered in glitter or just drunk
You need to stop leading guys on at bars - you're a lesbian.
And now I'm a lesbian with better self-esteem.
If you fuck her..... You will be in great danger. Like in so much danger it would be like walking into a pit of crocodiles who haven't eaten and you also just stole their baby.
I may or may not be drinking in a church parking lot.
He sent me a text saying his breakfast today was leftover mead and some fruit salad
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