The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
do you ever facebook stalk someone so much you think their inside jokes are yours?
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
And then i had a penis in each hand. It was magical.
I asked you how much you drank and you replied with "I don't know what kind of toothpaste I use."
Meet me at the corner of "what the fuck" and"how'd you get in my bed" in 10 minutes.
Blow job bear ended up in my bed last night. She didn't live up to her costume.
I'm a gay man planning my brothers bachelor party, and he choose someone else to be his best man. I hope they like appltinis and gay clubs. Bastard.
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
So the bitch asked me if I wanted the name brand or the generic contraceptive. Does it look like I want to be generically pregnant?
Shit. I'm suppose to call the bank but I'm too high to talk numbers.
I swear she looks like a sloth.... I'll toss a coin...
My ex's new girlfriends ex boyfriend is getting me my nipples pierced for Valentine's Day so who's the real winner here
It occurred to me today, whilst I was on the phone to boyfriend number 1, whilst in the car with boyfriend number 2 who was dropping me at the shops to meet boyfriend number 3 to help me buy a present for boyfriend number 4 that I should be having much more sex than I am.
Randomize
