Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
Dude, dont worry about the lamb fetus in the fridge.
What?
Just dont open the beer drawer.
ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
In Berlin they just cured HIV with stem cells. I am hereby fucking anything that moves.
I told her that if she blew me I would give her the empty pizza box in the fridge.... Why did she agree?
I just found scrambled eggs in my shower. Thanks for that, asshole.
You passed out while holding my hair during a blow job.. i think your gona have to earn back blow jobs
Ok, I have three hours. I'm trying to work out two blow jobs and a taco.
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
He said I showed up in just my underwear and a bunch of towels I stole from the party I was at.
Not genetic. He's drunk and texted me a dick pic. Not genetic. Thank God!
the guy I've been trying to get with saw my brother's genitals before he saw mine, so that's my life.
Is "You've never made me cum." an acceptable breakup line?
Spent 38 bucks on dollar wells last night. I'm pretty sure my liver is staging a mutiny right now.
Randomize
