You work out of a Hotel?
SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
I intend to get homeless drunk
First funeral I've ever been to where the cops had to come.
just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
It was his birthday this weekend. I had to carry him 6 blocks, in 3 inch heels. The entire time he was trying to molest me, eat my face, and try to stop every two feet to tie his shoe. He would light a cigarette, forget about it, almost burn everyone, throw it out, then decide he wanted to smoke. He kept repeating that he trusts me with his life.
...Wow...
I could be a kindergarten teacher
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
We lost power at midnight which freaked out my roomate and friends. The power came back on 30 minutes later. We are now at the bar having "the rapture came and we were left behind" shots
Needs to be more caveman. "Me kill roommate. You watch. Then sex time with our genitals."
Would you think less of me if I said I was eating a toaster strudel in the bath.
He howled at the moon then told me that if i were a dog he'd have sex with me...either i look like that girl or i need to stop going on blind dates. Period.
I party with great urgency now.
Stopping for a booty call on the way to a lunch date... Bad form?
I just drunkenly emailed my feminist dissertation as a resignation letter for my call center job. What am I doing with my life!?
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