I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
I decided that not getting a job after college is gods way of telling me I will make a great housewife
I just peed in the Schreyer honors college shrubbery. Thanks honors students, you're finally good for something
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
just got tipped $5 to put a barbie in a waffle cone and drip caramel sauce on it while a group of dudes cheered and one took pics. 90% sure they were sober
Sometimes familiar penis is best. Its like comfort food for your vagina.
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
I'm at home, drinking with my cat. While this is an enjoyable lifestyle, other plans are preferable.
But mostly fuck him senseless. Render him speechless. Have him look at my vagina and wonder, "WHAT SORCERY IS THIS?!"
I may or may not already be in your hot tub when you get home. I have a key to your house and no shame.
I got so drunk that I peed my bed...and all over him. The ironic thing is that he slept in his swimming trunks.
I wouldn't hesitate to give up my job to have regular bowel movements again
I love the barter system - he got laid and I got him to bring me some ibuprofen. A win-win really.
Yeah you're weird. You once told me you would by me a house in the middle of sex. Like as you were thrusting.
well i can officially check "have sex in a prius" off my bucket list...
Randomize
