everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
I have a great idea. you just need to get pregnant.
Mother, no, i will not talk about this again. Please stop planning my unborn daughters life. I will not put her in pagents. That is trashy. Stop watching toddlers in tiaras. It is also trashy. I love you.
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
Dude I woke up in her bed wearing a top hat and bunny slippers and noticed one of us had pissed in bed. The last thing I wanted to ask for was a ride home
Don't ask me how or why, but I'm drunk with German diplomats. Come over. Now
whoa! who said he's my boyfriend?
Oops. Sorry. That guy you keep accidentally running into in public. And at home. And with your vagina.
You're the only one to love me enough for me to admit the following: Rock-bottom sounds like sobbing to a Miley Cyrus song.
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
honestly my period and I are just as surprised to see each other every month
I've fucked him twice and literally had no idea that he's missing a thumb
Hungover. No words. Just memes.
We showed up to the ER to pick him up and I was still wearing face paint from the game. Then I threw up in the sink. Those doctors did not like us at all.
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
Randomize
