the doormen always congratulate him in spanish as he walks me downstairs in the morning
On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
My doctor literally wrote on the script NO SEX
Well someone has to be the Christmas slut at the family dinner. I suppose it's my year to fill those shoes.
We just took turns doing keg stands. 27 is way too old for this. Out of 5 of us, our best time was 9 seconds.
So we just left her at the hospital. She is not ruining my Monday night
I come back upstairs and she's leaning over sink full of vomit saying 'oh my god it's the chili'
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
I didn't know what to say so I just sent him a chicken emoji
I just said "I love my cat" as a hobby.
I'm torn between regretting everything and regretting nothing.
I don't need tinder boy anymore but I do need free sushi
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
I just named someones junk. I should not be allowed to talk to people.
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