it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
an unopened bag of salt and vinegar chips... probably the best thing I've ever found in my room while high.
The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
I sat on his lap and we shared a beer. I feel like that's an invitation to his dick.
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
First day of class and I'm in a bar drinking pitcher #3. Foreshadowing?
Went to the strip club with my aunt. Do you know how hard it is to be a pervert in front of your female family members?
Was it high me or sober me who put those Jolly Rancher sticks in the freezer? I'd be soooo impressed if it was high me.
He accidentally opened the car door during sex and all the lights came on. Needless to say, that kid passing by who was walking his dog got scarred for life.
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
Like people might wonder why I put up with your puns. You give good head and play with my hair
I wish I could open myself up and check on my liver. Make sure it's hanging on. Ya know?
Tinder has really served to stimulate the number of sex related demons summonings.
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
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