yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
so he stopped for a second, looked up at me and said in a really creepy voice, "I can has cheeseburger?" and then went back to eating me out.
It's my fault I'm alone. My closest relationship is with my blackberry....thank god it vibrates.
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
I just found a beer bottle in my xmas tree while disassembling it. God, I'm going to miss the holidays.
why is it ever time u get laid i end up having to clean something twice? you have no idea how hard it is to wash smugged ass cheeks off the counter
there not mine if that helps
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
He made me twerk for scrambled eggs... I regret nothing
Wanna get mid day margaritas tomorrow if I'm still alive
Eating pizza in the bath tub while watching a romantic comedy alone. I reached a new level of single.
I just feel like if we dated, he'd just be crying the entire relationship
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
All she said was "Do me by Friday."
Randomize
