TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
I called the bar to ask if they found my Id and credit card and they remembered me as 'the girl who signed her receipt in blood'
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
I mean I'm not gay but a hundred bucks is a hundred bucks
Dude my pants were only on for 20 minutes after she got there.
That's 30 minutes too many.
"YOU A2TE UNDERAGE LOL" Got that at 2am. Gotta stop dating alcoholics.
There was a deer right in front of me when I came. Sex in the forest is awesome
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
WHERE THE FUCK'S MY FUCKING RITALIN YOU FUCKING FASCIST?????
She couldn't understand why my walking in on her 70 year old parents ruined any chance of a boner for at least an hour. I think she's too slow for me to fornicate with.
Lots of tissues. Maybe pizza. Only time will tell. The stages of political grief.
Pretty penis doesn't make up for awkward eye contact.
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
Randomize
