No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
you knoww youre high when you are just as concerned as the contestants on ultimate cake off as they move their 250 lbs cake over the ramp
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
If i apologize for punching you in the liver repeatedly will you explain where the grass stains on my shoulders came from?
She said i kept moaning her moms name instead of hers
I think I suffocated him while I was riding his face
The chick I hooked up with last night is my girlfriend older sister. Who is in town visiting. Who I just met. Who I just had dinner With. Who is here along with their parents and the whole family. How did my luck get so bad?
But he found my shoe...that at least deserves a handjob.
I may not have eyeballs after all the drunk naked people having sex outside.
Both of our knuckles were split open this morning when I came out of the blackout, the column on the porch has two new cracks in it, were like the redneck Super Smash Bros.
PS: when I ask you if I look fat in a a dress DO NOT TAKE YOUR SWEET ASS GAY TIME to formulate an answer only to tell me in front of our family that perhaps I should buy Spanx. Do you WANT me to tell mom and dad you suck cock? Then be a good brother and have the common decency to LIEEEEEE!!!!
I'm just gonna use that pot butter as dip for chips. That's fat, American AND stoner!
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
I'm not 100 percent on this, but I think I just shit a lump of cement. What the fuck happened last night?
I took out a life ins. policy Thursday. It's okay I can die in Nashville now.
Randomize
