the condom got lost in my hair
I was talking to this girl who was in love with the air force. I was doing decently until I mentioned that the navy actually has more planes. Cockblocked by my knowledge of random trivia again.
He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
Sitting in back of morning lecture drinking a daqueri from my pink unicorn cup. Pretty sure the girl next to me smells it.
I don't know what it was about last night, but every bar that i went to there was at least one girl there that i had done something with. I'm sure the girl that i went with knew because they all grabbed my penis and told me to call them.
Sometimes you have a life bucket list item checked off like 4 tits in your face simultaneously and getting to bang them both. I'm sorry I bailed on skiing but not really. Coming over with a boombox playing 'heat of the moment' as soon as I can hail a cab cause I'm too drunk to drive still...
Also, I would just like to reiterate my apologies for tearing up in the grocery store.
We celebrated our relationship by shotgunning beers on his lawn in our underwear. I may have to marry this man...
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
UPDATE: THERE IS ASS EATING. I REPEAT: THERE IS ASS EATING.
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
Randomize
