my phone cant type all the emotion im having
So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
Would it help you get over me if I told you that I had unprotected sex last night?
bottle of wine in one hand cigar in the other. 5 am. topless on our fire escape. and she cleaned our bathroom... i like his new girlfriend.
There's an australian, my relationship has no hope.
the cab driver asked if you were our mom. you definitely shouldn't have tipped him so much.
I feel like somebody ate me, then shit me into my bed.
This essay is so getting done. I am spurred on by thoughts of test-driving your newly shaven face by sitting on it as soon as humanly possible.
My entire summer has consisted of being too drunk for this shit, too sober for this shit, or too hungover for this shit.
She gave me what I will now dub a "hurricane sandy". Loud, wet and sloppy BJ that made me want to stay home and complain about shit on the Internet
I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.
My vday gift was a joint bouquet, Finding Nemo on bluray, and a good shower fuck.
Um, WHAT A FUCKING KEEPER!
If waking up at 6 50 pm every day and getting invited to go have sex as you wake up is what alcoholism is like I can get use to this.
His girlfriend left him for the pizza guy. I am not fucking kidding.
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
Randomize
