Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
I do no wrong. I am always right. Right? I forget why I am sending this. It seemed relevant.
How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
If she doesnt understand your inherent need to teabag an emo chick, do you really want to be with her?
No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
WHY. COME BACK. TRAPPED WITH ROOMMATE AND FALCON. SAVE ME. I HAVE HUMMUS.
On another note, convinced a 9 year old my hickey was actually a zombie bite.
He was drinking wine out of a pyrex measuring cup at two in the afternoon and told me my ass looked fantastic in my sweatpants. I love university
Seriously my only wish tonight is to be at the club in a sombrero w my shirt off pouring tequila on bitches titties
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
I think if I send him enough nudes, he will buy my plane ticket.
My tinder date wouldn't stop talking about the Star Wars movie trailer long enough to fuck me. HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?
My autobiography will be 500 pages of the words "I probably should've thought this through" typed over and over.
And by "have lunch together" you mean me giving you a blow job in the back of your Tahoe, right?
Randomize
